This is a poem about “falling” in love. Not in the conventional sense though. More like being tripped up and falling down, rather than the romantic emotional “falling in Love” that people usually mean by the more common use of the phrase. The emphasis here is on the falling part.
And my personal landings have been quite painful!!
what is this passionate “love”?
… just “who” am I in love with?
There are so many “you”s!
The many “you”s from this life
and the you from other lives
so many “you”s
so many “me”s
Why this resonance?
My love life from other existences leaking through!!!
NOBODY EVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS!!!
but I love some “us”, somehow, somewhere!
…resonance beyond reason
How is this possible ?
Hardly a window of opportunity to be with you now,
yet, I feel I must behave myself
not act the fool and drool!
revealing this divine passion for being with you
so deeply buried
beyond the merely human traceable paths of “ordinary” life
within the fabric of my being
tugging at my awareness
like a splinter in consciousness.
causing me pain I soooo refused to look at,
and now I understand
it’s the presence of the echoes I feel
of the “us” that we once were
in the timbre of your voice,
in such divine and easy laughter together,
in the affections and appreciations,
that you admit to;
my passion for “us”,
silently floating out of it’s carefully buried place of remembrance
like an unholy ghost, unbidden
haunting and taunting me with the absence of it’s flow in my life
and I fall helplessly in love with “us” again
so far beyond this life
and the you I see right here,
into vast depths of relationship
that boggle the human mind
into a love that makes the entire human spectrum of it
seem like toddlers playing house,
with the You that you are not now,
that does remember.
We dressed ourselves in other lives this time,
hardly recognizable to each other.
Hiding so much of our Selves,
that You would not recognize Me,
nor I, You.
We already have other lovers, interests, paths
this divine separation clearly serving us,
so much so,
that I must honor it at your request,
it was mine.
But we found each other anyways, didn’t we?
“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ” says the Universe.
“Be at peace. That is not for here, not for now.
There are other reasons for your life …”
Insisting, “Now it is time to love yourself that way
without the other, first…”
and so, alone,
in the ecstasy of feeling you and I together,
I let “us” go for now
to cure this divine agony of separation
and I create
from this space of freedom
of being in love
It has been my experience in the last few years, that I am running into people that have apparently been deeply and passionately involved with me in past lives on earth. This has been very disconcerting as the strong feelings we shared from these past lives were still attached to the “them” that I experienced in the now. Even though the roles we now play are completely different and these individuals have moved on to other lives, I still felt “our” past when I was physically near them.
These feelings confused me for the longest time. I didn’t know where they were coming from and kept trying to dismiss them and ignore them. That didn’t always work. I could feel that essence of closeness so keenly, that I would unconsciously attempt to connect back with it in some fashion. Those kinds of actions would start leading to all sorts of confusing scenarios of painful feelings of grief, rejection, and embarassment, all out of proportion to the current social situations we found ourselves in. Keep in mind, these other people had no conscious idea of the motivations for my actions and for the longest time neither did I!
What I did have were intense, confusing, feelings of desire of one type or another that absolutely made no sense in the current context of our lives. When I was finally able to say a confused “yes” to these strange feelings and allow them to flow through me, I followed them to this poem, and my understanding was the result.