remote intimacy


.

so final

….death

.

.

working through my grief

at the unexpectedly complete severance

of expected potentials

of closeness

intimacy

and dreams coming  true….

.

.

ripples

radiating from the  irreplaceable center

of  a life that was,

so close to me,

.

.

meeting up here, and there

waves and troughs, cancelling or enhancing

the waves and troughs of my own projected future hopes and dreams,

touching points in the ever widening circles of my own future

of changed potentials.

.

.

I  don’t like the changes,
I cry tears for me in frustration and defiance of ” unchangeable”
holding with all my might to that which will make change disappear,
all the while knowing that my tantrum will not undo what time has done,

.

until I undo time;

.

and for the loss I see in
the absence of one so dear.

.

And then I let go.
And  I turn down new roads.
And the sorrow lifts and drops
in the ripples as they flow out
and the joys remain on the waves,
and the pains in the troughs

.

and ways are opened
for change,
for different,
for better.

.

Seperation is just an illusion,
yes,
but so is being human.

*
*

Confused and distraught over the news of the death of an online acquaintence, my feelings clarified in this poem, and another other loves. In an online world, where I connect with others in different ways than in the “real” world, I held the connections in lighter esteem, but this loss profoundly impacted my life and made me re-examine what relationship is, even in the virtual world.

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